Some lucky jailbirds do end up in 5-star jails.
“Fun? It was fantastic! I had a holiday there!”
is what one Jewish ex-con told Noseweek.
South Africans could be excused for laughing when we heard the Inspecting Judge of Prisons, Judge Deon Hurter van Zyl, giving evidence at the London extradition hearing of Shrien Dewani. The Judge described the type of prison Dewani could expect to be more like “a five-star hotel” than a place where, as Dewani’s barrister put it, he could expect to be gang raped by crazed HIV-infected prisoners.
Zonderwater prison “Zon” in Gauteng (and Malmesbury in the Cape) are the new generation of go-to facilities that foreign fact-seekers and human rights activists are usually shown.
After hearing what Judge van Zyl told the extradition hearing, top-flight investigative magazine Noseweek went digging – and were clearly surprised to find that it was all true. For their cover story this month - called SA’s Glamour Slammer – Noseweek interviewed a Jewish ex-con from Zon, who they called David, whose account makes fascinating reading.
David says it was “a fantastic surprise” to find himself in the model prison. “Fun? It was fantastic! I had a holiday there!”
Private cell with TV & video and kosher food
It wasn’t long before David graduated to a private single cell with a TV, video, hot-water shower and toilet. Of course it didn’t hurt that the enlightened and trail-blazing head warder, one Dawie van der Merwe, was taken in and brought up by a Jewish couple as an orphan.
David says that Jewish prisoners at Zon can apply for kosher food. The Muslims can get halal. There are also vegetarian and Rastafarian menus and a sect called the Israelites – a band of Afrikaners – get their peanuts and raisins.
The Jewish prisoners prepare their own food and there is no limit on the amounts they can order. They prepare lavish amounts of boerewors and roast potatoes, kingklip and hake.
Rabbi sorts out prisoners wanting to convert for kosher food
So sumptuous is the kosher cuisine that a horde of black prisoners, though well fed on chicken, meat, pap and fruit, announced that they were converting to Judaism to get their share of the kosher food.
The Rabbi sorted them out sharply by listing two prior requirements – converts must be circumcised and be able to read Hebrew. Needless to say, nobody converted.
Told warder he needed dressing gown & sheepskin slippers. “I got them!”
David explains that there are fantastic amenities for sport, recreation and studies at the country club of a prison.
“There’s a fantastic library, with lovely new books and magazines,’ says David. “I wanted to spend time in the library and I told the warder I needed a dressing gown and sheepskin slippers. I got them!”
David says that it is “a complete middle-class lifestyle and many of the prisoners could never have anything like it outside. Some guys protest when they’re paroled. They don’t want to leave and as soon as they’re out the door, they’re stealing at the supermarket and come back within a week!”
David was even given two weeks off to spend with his family.
The above is an edited extract. It really is worth reading the full story (and Noseweek)
which can be found in the current issue of Noseweek online at www.noseweek.co.za.
Noseweek140 Cover.jpg
Yup, that'll do it. You have
Yup, that'll do it. You have my apprceiaiton.
"The Rabbi sorted them out
"The Rabbi sorted them out sharply by listing two prior requirements – converts must be circumcised and be able to read Hebrew. Needless to say, nobody converted."
If it was just that easy and the criteria that simple. Then a lot more people would be regarded as Jewish, even liberal/progressive ones. Alas it takes much more to convert, the criteria much stricter and serious.